Throwing Out Some One-Liners

Monica-Abbott

Hi Ya’ll!!

It is time for a good Laugh!

The-SandlotWhenever we are watching sports (especially male sports) we always see a little bit of smack talk like football, basketball and hockey. It’s not as common in softball but there are definitely a ton of back handed compliments...

…of course it’s all done with a smile, a ribbon, and just within ear shot. It is never yelled and never shockingly offensive… that is until you get back to the dug out and you think to yourself, “Oh no she didn’t. I can’t believe she that too me!” Or you’re telling a teammate, “You’ll never believe what Coach told me!”

Here is a list of some of the one-liners I have heard over the years:
(**all said here are in good fun for a laugh)

“You couldn’t hit water if you fell out of a boat”

“Hey, hey! Your bow doesn’t match”

“Rome wasn’t built in a day but that swing was”

“There must be a hole in your glove” (insert after missed ground ball)

“You can’t build Rome in a day or a Softball swing for that matter.”

“Unhitch the trailer”

“There’s better hands on a clock”

“The plate hasn’t moved in a 100 years and you still haven’t found it”

“We should arrange a funeral for your dead arm”

“Did you know your Eyeblack is smeared?”

“You can’t hit with your eyes closed”

“Looks like we have Ray Charles pitching to Stevie Wonder”

“There are better swings on a playground”

“The pitcher hasn’t missed all day, she has hit every barrel put in the zone”

“Time out! Okay I’m ready I didn’t really need time I was just messing with the pitcher”

“That rock came out of nowhere” (insert after missed ground ball)

“Pitchers got a big butt” (classic)

“I don’t know why you don’t talk on the field, I can’t get you to stop talking off the field” (from every coach who has ever witnessed a flyball drop during a game in the Bermuda triangle)

“I’ve seen better pitchers at a Tupperware party”

“Brain Fart”

“What were you thinking on that, were you even using your brain?”

“You can’t hit a spot if your life depended on it”

“I’ve seen monkeys take better swings”

“That pitch was so flat I made a Pizza out of it and ate it for dinner”

“That was a McFattie with cheese hold the sauce.”

“Do you even know where 1st base is?”

“Your glove is so old Babe Ruth probably used it”

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Live2BringIt!

Monica Abbott
www.monicaabbott.com
eph 5.1

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